Sexy Tights and Yoga Moves

Sexy Tights and Yoga Moves

 So I was perusing Instagram, following a girl who is an inspiration in yoga. She can do amazing things. What I love best about her is that she is not bone thin, so she gives me hope as I stand in my yoga class looking in the mirror at these ridiculously perfect college girls with their perfect little bodies and hair executing perfect little yoga moves. Not to digress, but I must. One day I was in yoga when I noticed that this gorgeous college girl in front of me was definitely missing some bones. She could bend over forward and backward the same and do all kinds of stuff that I was left concluding could only be done if you had some bones missing. Anyways, if that wasn’t enough, when she was all done she took her hair out of the cool-looking messy bun situation she had going on, and pounds and pounds of gorgeous hair came pouring out, falling absolutely perfectly, as if she had just curled it and hadn’t worked out at all. All the while, I am standing there dripping wet with extra bones and my hair sticking out all over the place and wondering: How could I get rid of some bones and have perfect hair? My girlfriend and I complained about her boneless situation and perfect hair all the way home. Anyways, I haven’t seen her in class for a while. Apparently she only has to show up occasionally to maintain her svelte boneless yoga body and perfect hair. The last time I was in yoga, all the girls looked more like me fighting random bulges and feathers of wet hair that was never to be admired. I kinda missed the perfect girl as I had no one to look up to, no one to aspire to and be jealous of….

Okay digression over, returning to the beautiful, curvy yoga girl on Instagram. I was drawn to a pose where she was bending over on one leg and holding her other leg straight up in the air. It appeared to be a standing splits situation, and when she was done she made sure to dismount towards the camera to allow a full shot of her booty, which, of course, she is rightfully very proud of. The comments she got from all the drooling men left me assured that I should try this trick to get some attention from my weary husband after work.

In the evening, as my husband was sitting on the couch watching “Sons of Anarchy,” I knew there was not much I could do to distract him during this show. But it was worth a try; and since I was wearing a skirt and some black tights that were a little see-through with a really cute pair of Victoria Secret panties on underneath, I thought this might work out after all. So I showed him the yoga inspiration’s little video and acted like I was really wondering how she did this amazing move. I tried over and over again to replicate it and made sure to dismount every time with my full ass facing him on the couch. Of course my skirt always fell upside down showing him the goods in my see-through black tights. Well, it wasn’t long before my hard tits were smack up against the headboard and his tongue was deep inside of me, and I was smiling to myself that the yoga girl had really taught me a good trick.

So, for you girls trying to get your man’s attention: Make sure you have on some sexy little skirt that will fall down, exposing your gorgeous ass when you try this upside-down move. Act like you need his help to figure out how and what to do. Ask him if he can hold a leg up or help you bend over appropriately, ask him if you look right, and make sure to dismount toward him showing your full ass to him each time. Repeat over and over, and I guarantee he will turn off the TV and suggest you go to bed. The next thing you know, you will be smack up against the headboard and you will innocently ask him: What got into you?

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